“A bird on a branch never worries that the branch will break because her trust is not on the branch but on her wings.” ~ Unknown
Self-trust is a deep topic that touches on multiple factors of character and competence. Covey characterizes self-trust as, “all about credibility. It’s about developing the integrity, intent, capabilities, and results that make you believable, both to yourself and to others.”
This idea of self-believability (different than and complement to belief in oneself) and self-trust strike me as the culmination and outcome of emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent self-trust might be show up as:
- Responding rather than reacting using your mental discipline to pause, interrupt unproductive emotion and thought patterns, and avoid getting emotionally hooked;
- Understanding, experiencing, and expressing your emotions without indulging or repressing them in an unhealthy, unproductive way;
- Practicing positive reframing of negative thought loops to see what’s going right within what’s going wrong, contributing to the solution rather than focusing on the problem, and questioning your unproductive (and perhaps untrue) long-held stories and narratives;
- Using your emotional data plan in a healthy productive way that improves your self-trust (and downstream self-confidence and self-esteem), your trustworthiness, and your relationships.
- Keeping the commitments you make to yourself, no matter how small.
Emotionally intelligent self-trust might sound like:
- “I keep the commitments I make to myself.”
- “I trust my ability to handle all of my emotions in a healthy productive way that move me toward my goals and life purpose.”
- “I trust my ability to emotionally manage myself in the face of life’s challenges and opportunities.”
- “I trust my experience and emotions to provide insight and data that informs my choices.”
Why does self-trust matter? Because it means you are believable to yourself, which increases self-confidence, resilience, and your ability and willingness to take step out on “risky” branches. Because it means you trust your experience, your ability to learn, and your fortitude for working through hard times. Because it signals to others that you are emotionally trustworthy, which allows them to be vulnerable and open with their emotions, to be honest with you and with themselves, and to take risks.
Emotionally intelligent self-trust matters because it is the foundation of courage and emotional agility.
Check out my feed on Instagram @plenumcoaching for quotes, affirmations, and journal prompts.
Want to discover how you can cultivate yourself self and your relationships by getting clear on your thinking, values, beliefs, and goals so that you can commit to meaningful actions that move you toward where and who you want to be? Well, you’re in the right place because as a coach, that’s what I do!
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